Life Brings Sadness
Posted by Valerie on April 20, 2009
Shortly after I learned about CPSIA, I also learned that I was expecting a baby. Along with trying to fight this horrible aggression against my family and against so many other families, I have also been dealing with morning sickness, lack of energy, and exhaustion. Along with the joy that a baby brings, pregnancy can be very challenging, and this one has been more challenging than most of mine.
Now you know why I didn’t just jump in the car and drive to DC for that April 1st CPSIA Rally! (And I was tempted, believe me!)
It’s been a rough three months. So many times I have laid my head on my desk feeling unable to press on with my work day. And then, past the usual work of running our business, supporting our family, it has been necessary to continually write another letter, make another call, or make another post here or there to oppose CPSIA. Tough stuff, really, but who can quit? Families will suffer most when we say the least; pressing on is not optional.
Since Saturday night, sorrow and grief have been added to our joy; we lost our dear baby at 12.5 weeks of pregnancy. It appears that our baby died three weeks ago. I say that sorrow and grief are added to joy because we know that our children may life forever. The fact that the grave is not our end or theirs is far from a joyless prospect.
Until this weekend, I’ve been watching for clothing for like-new used clothing for a newborn baby. After each of my babies outgrows the baby clothes, I give them away to someone who needs them. My atttitude has been that baby clothes are cheap and abundant: I can buy more as and if I need them. I have found the most adorable, 100% cotton baby clothes, new or like-new for 50 cents or $1.00 each. I’ll pay up to $3.00 for something really special. I’ll wash everything in baby soap, fold it all, pack it all in the drawers and then be ready for each new baby.
In my several attempts to shop for baby clothes this time around, I found exactly one little newborn sleeper at Goodwill a few weeks ago. I didn’t love the style, so I didn’t buy it. Thrift stores are no longer a source of baby clothing in my area, apparently, so I’d concluded that I’d use garage sales to dress this baby. I hoped that people either would not have heard of CPSIA, would not believe it applies to them, would assume that they wouldn’t be caught with any banned hazardous material–or would simply assess the situation and determine that this is one of those times when government has gone TOO FAR for a free Republic.
For now, I no longer need baby clothes, but other mommies still do. I believe that it’s time for civil disobedience for the children’s sake. If you have baby clothing or children’s clothing or other children’s items, look for a family to use them. I support what Goodwill and the Salvation Army are doing, but please don’t give them clothing that they will be compelled to discard.
We’ve walked this road of loss before, and it’s not easy. It’s been a very difficult three months in many, many ways and for many reasons, and it’s been no fun to add CPSIA to that mix. All things considered, most not revealed, it has seemed to me that I have reached the outer limits of my ability to endure. Maybe not, but I am so very weary.
I tell my children that the greatest thing about little babies is that they have the potential to live forever with Jesus in Heaven. I am not a materialist. I am certain that there is an unseen world as real as this one and that, as millions know and millions more suspect, it has been kindly revealed to us in the Bible.
I suspected that I had lost the baby a couple of weeks ago, but between learning that my baby had certainly died on Tuesday and having a natural miscarriage on Saturday, three of my children were in an accident on Wednesday where the car they were in was completely destroyed. It was a head-on collision with one driver going about 55 mph; the front end of the car is gone.
Looking from car to passengers, the contrast seems miraculous. It’s a goner, and they are still with us. The driver, a friend of ours, has back pain. My second daughter, Kristen, has lots of aches and pains (right shoulder and left thumb the worst). My third daughter, Kelsey, had neck and chest pain, but now just her chest hurts, and she misses picking up her little brother. My fourth daughter, Katelyn, got the worst of the impact. She broke her arm high up by the shoulder. (At first, she thought that her arm had been amputated. At first, those with a wider field of vision thought the shoulder had been dislocated.) Kate had surgery to wire the bone together, and she’s expected to be as good as new. The wires will be removed in three weeks.
Almost 19 years and 11 children, and this is our first broken bone in the family. We’re not big ones for running to the doctor, so Kate’s surgery and night at the hospital were the first time she’d ever seen a doctor or taken medicine. She’s almost fourteen and is amazed and impressed with how kind people in hospitals are.
Over and over again she said, “Everyone here is so nice!” And I would tell her that people generally become doctors and nurses because they like people and like to help people feel better.
Confronted with the 1-10 pain scale the twentieth time and giving a thoughtful response, Kate added, ”I have to say. This chart makes it easier to assess my condition.”
We’re so grateful for air bags, seat belts (the seatbelt bruises and abrasions are drawing impressive choruses of oohs and aahs from the little ones–and are a vivid picture of the force of the accident and its potential to cause serious or deadly injury), and we’re grateful for modern surgical techniques. Most of all, we’re grateful to God who gave us these good gifts and watches over us constantly.
Life brings sadness. It can be very hard, but it is also rich and good. I look all around me and see good gifts. This week, I’m grateful for the lives of three children who have survived.
Anita Chamblee said,
Valerie,
So very sorry to hear about your loss of the baby. I have experienced three losses, so can definitely feel your grief and pain. I am amazed at all that you accomplished in your early pregnancy. Morning sickness and all definitely get worse with later pregnancies and with age. My youngest was born just last October–15 months after my first grand–when I was 44! Our second grandson arrived just a few weeks ago. We are just intermingling the children with the grands these days.
How wonderful that your children were protected from more serious harm. God’s hand was surely covering them!! We have friends who stay away from doctors and hospitals and teach their children that they are just out to get your money and do not care for your well-being at all. I am thankful that your daughter had a positive experience (well, as positive as having a broken arm and surgery can be). We have never had any “bad” experiences with medical personel, even when our oldest was close to death. We have always been extremely thankful for God’s leading in choosing Christian doctors.
Praying for your and your daughters’ physical recovery and that you will fell His presence supporting you during your time of grief.
Anita Chamblee
http://busyhandsbusyminds.blogspot.com
Marguerite said,
God bless you. I’ve been occasionally reading back posts here (found you only a few weeks ago, through overlawyered, I think), and you’re an inspiration to me. So glad your children did not get too badly hurt in the crash.
Mary Jo Tate said,
My dear Valerie, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby! I’m sorry about your 3 children’s injuries but rejoice with you that their lives were spared. I’ll be praying for your family. I’m grateful for all your diligent, persistent work against CPSIA and amazed to learn that you were pushing ahead through the early months of pregnancy. You’re an amazing woman, and I appreciate you so much!
Brenda Buza said,
We rejoice in the fact that the girls were not hurt more severely in the crash. And we grieve for the baby.
We are very concerned for your personal welfare and we are in prayer for you every day. God will provide!
Ellen Rickard said,
I am praying for you and your family.
Psalm 34:17-19
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all
I am so sorry that your baby will not be born, but rejoice with you in the hope of the day when you will meet in heaven. I am praising God that all survived the car accident and will put you and your family on my personal prayer list so I will be sure to pray faithfully.
I share the same hope of meeting two much-loved but unborn children one day in heaven. I, too, just had surgery to repair a broken ankle with metal plates and 8 screws and am facing an uncertain recovery. I am reminding myself many times that, while I don’t understand a lot of what is happening, I am firm in my love for Him and His for me, so on I go….and I am so thankful that I am not alone in my troubles. I am praying that God will reveal Himself to you many times to reassure you of His great love and faithfulness. He has used you in my life even though we have never met!
Thank you for sharing with us so that may have the privilege of praying for you and your family.
Your sister in Christ,
Ellen in Tennessee
Stephanie said,
Valarie, I wept as I read your post. I know the pain of losing a child, even one so small. But I too am thankful to know that the separation is only temporary and that these babies are well taken care of by our Father. I’ve prayed and will continue to pray for your family. The battle is His. Rest in Him. (((HUG)))
Jeannie Schmidt said,
Valerie,
I have followed your family on bookroom and you have been a blessing and encouragement to me. The trials have been heaped on you as you have battled cpsia for us. Thankyou! I read today in a book by Amy Carmichael about ‘certainties’. We can be certain that ‘all things work together for the good to those who love God and are the called according to His purposes. I want to pass it on to you. Remember to that when Elijah was weary and afraid after his triumph over the prophet’s of baal and Jezebels threat that the Lord took him to a place to rest and be fed. May the Lord give you rest!
Debbie said,
HI Valerie, praise the Living God that your children and friend are all right! What a miracle. I grieve along with you at the loss of your precious baby. Knowing baby is in heaven is wonderful news. God knows what’s best. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I survived a horrible car accident at 17 years of age so I can relate in a small way to what you are going through.
I pray God’s abundant strength, grace and peace to you and your household.
Debbie
Lisa Carroccio said,
Dear Valerie…
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. You’ve been dealing with a lot.
I’m thankful to know your children survived the terrible car accident. Once again, we are reminded how precious life is.
With friendship,
Lisa
Sebastian (a lady) said,
Valerie,
I’m so sorry to hear of the turmoil in the Bookroom family. I hope that all your big kids are healing up well. And I’m so sorry for the loss of you littlest one.
Prayers for you all.
Sebastian
Catherine Jaime said,
Valerie,
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I miscarried with my last baby, and it was so difficult. And then, to have the accident so close…
We are joining the others in prayer for you and your family. And praise that the accident was not worse.
Rest in His Arms.
BonnieBelle said,
I’m so very sorry for your loss, and yet so grateful for the lives and eventual health of your other children. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Carol Baicker-McKee said,
Valerie,
I’m so sorry about the loss of your baby and the injuries to your children. I was concerned about you when you uncharacteristically hadn’t blogged in so long. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you during this terrible time.
And I thank you more than ever for all you’ve done to save old books, children and families from the ill consequences of CPSIA; I had no idea you were working so hard under such difficult circumstances.
Elysabeth said,
I too am sorry for your loss and thankful for the minor injuries sustained by your children. I have suffered the loss of a baby but I wasn’t far enough along to really feel pregnant. I also have had a child in a serious car accident who walked away from it. He was driving and literally crawled out the car and walked half a mile up the road to call someone. I don’t know how he did but I’m thankful he did.
I had been wondering where you had disappeared as you hadn’t posted in a while and kept praying that things were okay with you. Glad you are back and fighting the good fight with us. See you in the postings - E
————–
Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad (JGDS), 50-state, mystery, trivia series
STATE OF WILDERNESS, Book 1 of 50 now available.
STATE OF QUARRIES, book 2 of 50 now available
STATE OF RESERVATIONS, book 3 of 50 coming 2009
WHERE WILL THE ADVENTURE TAKE YOU NEXT?
http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http://junior-geography-detective-squad.weebly.com/
http://elysabethsstories.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jgdsseries/ (series newsletter forum)
nancie said,
Once when my older children were young, Satan whispered to me.”I will leave your children alone if you will stop working against me.” I knew he was lying. And I kept working. When he whisperes to you, know that he is lying and keep on working. So very sorry about your loss and rejoice with you in the survival of your children. God is good, no matter the trial we go through. Thanks for all you do. May you all heal quickly. nancie
happymom4 said,
Valerie, I had been worried about you because I sensed something was wrong when you sort of dropped out of sight. I kept checkng your blog and nosing around on-line looking for signs of life . . . I just want you to know that I do understand the loss of your baby . . . . read back a few days on my blog to find where I blogged about one of my losses if you think it interests you. I send gentle and healing hugs, and lots of prayers your way. Thanking God with you for the safety of your children’s lives–ALL of them! Whether they are safe here on earth or in the loving arms of our heavenly Father. . . . And please, if you ever need clothes again, you have only to speak the word . . . some of us still thankfully have access to stores that are either ignorant or brave . . . !
Lora said,
So sorry to hear about your sweet little baby.
How wonderful that your older babies were virtually unharmed (considering the drastic accident)!
My thoughts are with you now.
Deputyheadmistress said,
Valerie, so sorry about the loss of the baby, so glad your children in the car accident are alright. My family has endured two major car accidents in three years, and my heart goes out to all of you.
Can I suggest you watch the child who had trouble breathing? An ER nurse friend told me that soft tissue bruising in the chest area often results in injured person not breathing as deeply as normal, because it hurts- and then bronchitis or pneumonia can follow, and we have found that to be true.
Patty King said,
Wow! Valerie, you have been through so much since I’ve seen you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. And, give those girls hugs for me. I’m so glad the crash wasn’t any worse (and thank goodness they were wearing seatbelts!). Most of all, hugs to you, as I know how painful miscarriage is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lora said,
Valerie,
I am hoping that you and yours are doing well. Just a note to let you know that I am thinking of you.
Lora
Maureen said,
Dear Valerie,
My heart goes out to you.
I will pray for you and your family!
Maureen
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